Bad day at the office, if you don't laugh out loud after you read this you
are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time
you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne,
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest .Needless to
say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air
hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all
of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish
and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,
the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum. I informed the dive
supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all
laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. From now on,
whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.